Your Story............

It Is What You Make It
By Marla Van Lanen

Have you ever heard the phrase ‘it is what it is?’ What exactly does that mean? My son, Aaron recently completed his senior year wrestling season. It ended with a trip to the state tournament. As his senior year winds down, I had a lot of time to reflect on the little things.
You know how when you watch a movie, and at the very end, all those little details seem to magically come together and make total sense? I can clearly remember freshman year, the start of the wrestling season. Aaron was asked to fill out a sheet of paper with two simple questions on it. ‘What are your goals for this season’ and ‘what are your long range goals?’ For the season he had written, ‘to learn 2 new takedowns.’ For the long range, he wrote, ‘to make it to state’. I can still see the paper lying on our kitchen table. Now I see this was the start of his journey.
I have always encouraged my children to set their goals high. Why set a goal you know you can easily attain? Why not give yourself something to reach for. The state tournament, however, seamed like a lofty goal by anyone’s standards.
Freshman year he wrestled JV, won every tournament he entered and had a record of 18 and 3. We were off and running. Sophomore year at the wrestle offs he beat out a returning varsity wrestler. To make it on varsity and to stay there are two different things. He never could come out ahead on subsequent wrestle offs that year, but was able to wrestle up a weight where the team had an opening on the roster to earn his letter that year. His record was so-so, but he did show moments of greatness. We looked forward to junior year. He would have one year of varsity experience and we were sure he would rise to the occasion. After a wrestling camp in the summer, he complained of a sore knee. At the start of his junior season, we learned a bone cyst caused a weakness in the bone that led to a stress fracture. He was out for 4 weeks. He wanted nothing more than to wrestle. He returned for one tournament, and suffered a 3rd degree shoulder separation and was out for the season.
Wrestling is a funny sport. Sure, you need talent, but the cards all have to fall your way in order for you to be successful. You have to be on top of your game on tournament days. You have to be able to breathe well, and stay clear of skin infections that mysteriously travel though your team, you have to keep from getting hurt. You have to get enough sleep and be mentally prepared. You have to plan your weight management and find what you can and cannot eat to make weight, and what you can eat after weigh ins to give you enough energy, but not make you feel crummy or sluggish from not eating all week. Sometimes it’s the luck of the draw, and who you wrestle when. It’s those split second decisions you make on the mat. One wrong move and it’s over. But one thing is clear, when you find yourself in those clutch matches, when you lose you go home, you have to find it in yourself to win.
I think everyone thought Aaron was a decent wrestler. He never won a major tournament, but found himself on the podium a few times his senior year. His goal for the season senior year was to beat someone really good. His ultimate goal was the same as it had been for the last 4 years. To qualify for state. The probability of that seemed distant. Due to circumstances, he had yet to compete in a regional or sectional.
For Senior night during wrestling season, he was asked to write down 2 things he learned from his coaches. He wrote, ‘don’t ever give up, no matter what the odds are.’ And ‘anything can happen on any given day.’ Little did I know that those 2 things would play a very important part in his season. Coaches teach our sons not only wrestling skills, but life lessons. Things that pertain to their overall success. Above anything else, they taught him to believe in himself. For that I cannot thank them enough.
Most everyone expected him to make it through regionals. He was seeded second and only needed to finish in the top 4 to advance to sectionals. He made it to the finals. There he faced a kid who was ranked 9th in the state. His opponent won easily 13-4. We were happy he got second. All he needed to do was finish 1st or 2nd at sectionals and he would advance to state. His record coming in was 16-10.
Our sectional has a reputation for one of the toughest in the state. We knew it was a stretch. But anything can happen on any given day. We knew from the very first match that day that he was wrestling well. He tech falled his first opponent, something that doesn’t happen very often at sectionals. The second match, he lost to a kid from Rapids. I think at that point no one gave him much of a chance. By the end of the day he found himself in a wrestle back for 2nd. His opponent? The kid he lost to the week before at regionals. Both were seniors. His opponent’s school was hosting the sectional. He would wrestle this match on his home turf with his home crowd. One would take 2nd and go on to state, and the other would take 3rd and end his high school wrestling career.
If Aaron was nervous, he didn’t show it. Suddenly, I remembered the night before, seeing him carefully folding the tournament singlet and putting it into his gear bag. He was wearing it now, about to wrestle the match of his life. The first period he wrestled great on his feet. Just before the end of the period, the other kid got a takedown. 2-0. The other kid won the flip and started out down. He got a reversal and Aaron was down by 4. He told me later, at that point it seemed that his hearing went silent. The crowd was yelling but he heard nothing. He looked to his coaches and their mouths were moving, but everything appeared to be moving in slow motion. ‘This could be it’ he thought. ‘If I lose this match I will never wrestle again.’ No way was he going to let that happen. He rolled his hips up and swung over on top. Reversal-2pts. His surprised opponent was suddenly on his back and the ref was counting. Quickly he rolled to his stomach. Near fall 2. It was tied. The end of the 2nd period. Aaron was to start down, but the kid let him up to start neutral. It was 5-4 in Aaron’s favor. The whole thing seems surreal from this point for me. I knew to qualify for state was in his reach but I was scared to think it would happen. I had seen it too many times, one wrong move and it’s over. Aaron set up a take down and the crowd went wild. 7-4. As he struggled to stay on top the other guy turned a quick reversal. 7-6 with time running out. Then Aaron got a reversal at the edge of the mat with 13 seconds left. 9-6. He was on a mission! They moved to the center of the mat. All he needed to do was hold him down and he was going to state. Suddenly what had seemed impossible was clearly going to happen. Never give up, no matter what the odds are against you. Time ran out and he was going to state!
It seemed to me that 4 years of wrestling had came down to these six minutes on the mat. All his hopes, dreams, hard work and dedication. It all paid off. I asked him later if he thought he could win going into that match. He said, ‘I knew either way I had to leave it all out there.’ I hope that is how Aaron chooses to live the rest of his life. That is why I hate when people say ‘it is what it is’. It is what you make it. He proved one thing. Everyone has an equal chance coming into regionals and sectionals. Don’t worry about the other guy’s record or how the odds are stacked against you. Every one has to qualify and anything can happen.
After that match, I made my way down to the mat, congratulated all the way by other parents and friends. When I looked around for Aaron, someone pointed him out. Up in the bleachers where I had been, looking for me. We ran to each other and embraced. I will never forget the feeling of his warm, sweaty body and how tenderly he held me. I have never been so proud. All I want for any of my children is for them to be successful. He showed me he had what it takes to be successful.
Always believe in yourself. No one thought he had a much of a chance coming in with a 16-10 record and after he lost the 2nd match, everyone thought he was done. Don’t ever give up. Each of you has tremendous potential. Make the best of it. It is what you make it!

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It Is What You Make It